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That Tuesday morning began with the shrill wail of smoke alarms piercing through my skull - not from fire, but from my teenager's attempt at "artisanal toast." As acrid smoke choked the kitchen, my work laptop pinged relentlessly: 8:57 AM. Three minutes until the biggest client presentation of my career. My fingers trembled while frantically reloading Zoom, watching that cursed spinning wheel mock me as broadband vanished. Sweat trickled down my spine, that familiar panic rising when Virgin Medi