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The coffee had gone cold three hours ago when my phone erupted in a cacophony of discordant shrieks. Slack's *thunk-thunk*, Gmail's watery *bloop*, and the server monitor's nuclear-alarm siren collided in my sleep-deprived skull. I'd been debugging a Kubernetes cluster meltdown since midnight, and now seven simultaneous crisis notifications demanded attention while my toddler wailed in the next room. My thumb stabbed blindly at silencing buttons, accidentally dismissing a critical database overl

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