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Sweat beaded on my forehead as I stood paralyzed in that Madrid tapas bar, the waiter's expectant gaze burning into me. My phone felt like a lead weight as I fumbled to type "¿Tienen opciones sin gluten?" – only to watch autocorrect butcher it into "Tienen opinion sin governor?" The humiliation stung sharper than spilled sherry vinegar. For weeks, my Andalusian adventure had been punctuated by these digital betrayals, Spanish verbs mutating into English nouns mid-sentence like linguistic werewol

My knuckles turned bone-white gripping the hotel room desk, Barcelona's humid night air sticking to my skin like cellophane. On screen, Javier's WhatsApp message glared back: "We cannot proceed without specifications by dawn." Fourteen hours remained before our factory deal imploded, and my pitiful high-school Spanish had just produced "Los números de los zapatos son en el fuego" – claiming shoe sizes were literally on fire. The pit in my stomach churned as I deleted the disastrous message, pani

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