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Thirty thousand feet above the Atlantic, cramped in economy class with screaming toddlers behind me, I finally snapped. My knuckles went white around my phone as I deleted Candy Crush for the twelfth time. That's when I spotted it - a garish icon promising "HYPERMARKET TYCOON ACTION". Desperation breeds poor decisions, so I tapped download. Within minutes, I was plunged into a neon-lit grocery hellscape that made my cramped airplane seat feel like a spa retreat.

That frigid Tuesday morning remains tattooed in my memory - shivering violently under three blankets while my breath formed icy clouds. The "smart" thermostat had plunged to 10°C overnight, its companion app displaying a mocking error icon. I'd spent 20 minutes stomping between rooms trying to resurrect it, my frustration boiling over as I missed my morning meeting. This wasn't the first betrayal by my so-called intelligent home; just last week, the security cameras froze during a package theft,