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That factory-default trill felt like digital water torture – every identical chirp chipping away at my sanity. I'd developed a Pavlovian flinch whenever phones rang in public, shoulders tightening as if awaiting my own auditory assault. Then came Tuesday's monsoon madness: trapped in gridlock with wipers slapping uselessly against rain, my phone erupted with that soul-crushing marimba loop just as ambulance sirens wailed nearby. In that cacophonous hellscape, I vowed to reclaim my auditory auton

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