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The smell of stale coffee and desperation hung thick that Sunday afternoon as I hunched over my phone. Flamengo versus Palmeiras – my Cartola FC captain still blank on the stats sheet while rumors of his injury swirled on Twitter. I’d been stabbing refresh for 17 minutes, each tap echoing in my hollow apartment. Then João’s text buzzed: "Parciais CFC. NOW." Skepticism warred with delirium as I downloaded it. Within seconds, heatmaps bloomed under my fingertips like bloodstains on a battlefield.

That godforsaken tangle under my desk finally snapped me last Tuesday. I was sweating through my shirt, 17 minutes before a make-or-break investor pitch, when my primary monitor blinked into oblivion. My fingers plunged into the cable serpent's nest behind the CPU – identical black veins coiling around each other like mating vipers. Which one was DisplayPort? Which powered the external drive holding my deck? I yanked what felt right and killed the router instead. Pure panic tastes like copper pe

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