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The velvet envelope felt heavy in my hands – a wedding invitation for Saturday evening. My stomach dropped. Four days. Four days to transform from sweatpants hermit to cocktail-hour sophisticate. My closet yawned back at me with a collection of faded band tees and exactly one blazer that smelled suspiciously of mothballs. Online stores promised delivery in weeks, not days. Physical boutiques? I'd rather wrestle a bear than face fluorescent lighting and judgmental sales associates.

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