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That Tuesday smelled like stale coffee and panic. Seven open Excel windows choked my screen, each contradicting the others while accreditation auditors waited downstairs. My fingers trembled over keyboard shortcuts I'd invented to cross-reference student records - Ctrl+Alt+Despair. One misplaced decimal in our retention stats meant losing federal funding. Again. The department printer wheezed its last breath mid-transcript, spewing paper like confetti at a funeral. I remember pressing my forehea

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