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My bank account screamed when Sarah's birthday invite hit. That terrifying "$$$" aura around Manhattan bakeries? Brutal. I stared at sad ramen packets knowing her epic rainbow sprinkle expectations. Then my thumb stumbled upon Name Photo On Birthday Cake while doomscrolling at 3am - salvation disguised as a pink cake icon.

Rain lashed against the windshield like gravel on a snare drum as my truck hydroplaned through midnight highways. Six hours into this haul, caffeine had long surrendered to exhaustion, and the wipers' metronome thud threatened to hypnotize me into guardrails. That’s when I fumbled for my phone – cracked screen glowing like a beacon – and stabbed at Rock Radio SI. Instantly, Lemmy’s bassline from "Ace of Spades" detonated through the speakers, rattling my molars. It wasn’t background noise; it wa

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