early math skills 2025-11-11T07:06:27Z

Rain lashed against the coffee shop window as I stared into my lukewarm americano. That familiar ache - being surrounded by laughter yet feeling completely untethered - tightened around my ribs. My thumb instinctively swiped past polished vacation photos and political rants until it hovered over an app icon I'd downloaded during last week's insomnia spiral. What harm could one tap do?

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That night, my phone felt like a lead weight burning through my pajama pocket. I'd smashed my third device that month - glass shards glittering like accusation across the bedroom floor. Each fracture marked another failure, another plunge into that soul-crushing loop of shame-guilt-relapse. My knuckles bled as I swept up the evidence, but the real wound festered deeper: this isolation was killing me faster than any addiction.

That metallic rattle still haunts me - the sound of dice tumbling inside my brother's cupped hands during our childhood game nights. After the accident stole my sight fifteen years ago, those gatherings became torture sessions where I'd sit clutching a lukewarm beer, straining to interpret muffled cheers and groans while plastic pieces slid across boards I couldn't see. Last Thanksgiving nearly broke me when my niece whispered "Uncle Ben looks sad" as my siblings erupted over a backgammon coup.

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