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Rain lashed against the office window as I slumped in my ergonomic chair, thumbing through my phone's app graveyard. Productivity tools, meditation guides, endless runners – all deleted after five minutes of hollow engagement. Then I spotted it: that armored beast icon glaring back from my downloads folder. Tank Physics Mobile Vol 2. Downloaded weeks ago during a late-night engineering rabbit hole, forgotten until this soul-crushing Tuesday.

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Rain lashed against my Brooklyn studio window for the third consecutive day, the grayness seeping into my bones like damp concrete. I'd been talking to my rubber plant for twenty minutes before realizing this isolation had crossed into dangerous territory. That's when I stumbled upon the cactus - not a prickly desert survivor, but a digital one pulsating with absurd energy on my phone screen. This cheeky virtual succulent didn't just respond to my voice; it weaponized my loneliness into comedy g

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