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The rain lashed against my window as I stared at another defeat screen. My thumb hovered over the uninstall button when that ridiculous monkey icon caught my eye - all buck teeth and cross-eyed determination. What the hell, I thought, one last try before deleting this cartoon circus. Little did I know I was about to experience tactical warfare that would make Sun Tzu weep into his scrolls.

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Rain lashed against my office window as I stared at another influencer's Maldives vacation reel - turquoise water, flawless skin, that performative laugh. My thumb ached from scrolling through this digital dystopia where everyone's life looked like a goddamn Pantone swatch. That's when the notification pierced through my Instagram coma: a distinct double-chime that felt like an air raid siren for authenticity.

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It happened during a virtual team meeting last monsoon season. Rain lashed against my window as Carlos from São Paulo shared his hometown photos. "This is the breathtaking Chapada Diamantina," he said, pointing to crimson plateaus. My screen froze just as he asked if I recognized the Brazilian state. My throat tightened - I drew a complete blank. That evening, I rage-downloaded Globo Geography Quiz, stabbing my phone screen so hard I nearly cracked it.

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