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Six months ago, I almost became a permanent fixture on my couch, buried under takeout containers and Netflix queues. That Monday evening crystallized it - my fitness tracker flashed "47 steps" at 8PM while I mindlessly scrolled through gym selfies of people who apparently had 25-hour days. My running shoes gathered dust in the hallway closet like forgotten artifacts of a more disciplined version of myself.

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That godforsaken beep of my smart meter haunted my nightmares. I'd jolt awake at 3 AM, scrambling to check the display like some deranged energy watchdog, watching numbers climb as my ancient furnace wheezed in the basement. Last December's bill arrived like a declaration of war - €487 for a month of shivering in three sweaters. My breath fogged in the living room as I stared at the paper, fingernails digging into my palms. This wasn't living; this was financial masochism wrapped in frostbite.

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