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My cousin's vows echoed through the rustic barn as I discreetly wiped sweaty palms on my suit trousers. Outside, drizzle blurred the Yorkshire hills where 4G signals went to die. Manchester United faced City in the derby decider – a match years in the brewing, now unfolding precisely during this cursed wedding ceremony. Earlier attempts to stream had dissolved into pixelated frustration, each buffering wheel tightening the knot in my stomach. Then I remembered Sportsnet's offline mode, a feature

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Sweat stung my eyes as I clawed through sawgrass taller than my shoulders, the paper trail guide dissolving into pulpy confetti in my trembling hands. Somewhere beyond this green prison, sunset was bleeding across the Pyrenees—and I was supposed to be sipping wine at a refugio by now. Panic tasted metallic on my tongue until my phone buzzed against my thigh like a trapped insect. Wikiloc’s pulsing blue dot hovered over a squiggly line labeled "Goat Path Alternate," a secret stitch through the wi

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