measure progress 2025-09-11T16:26:16Z

My fingers trembled against the cold granite countertop, smearing peanut butter on yesterday's unpaid bills. Three empty yogurt cups testified to another failed "mindful eating" attempt while the baby monitor screeched with that particular pitch meaning vomit was involved. This wasn't motherhood - this was slow-motion suffocation in a house smelling of sour milk and regret. When the pediatrician's report highlighted my spiraling cortisol levels in the same tone one discusses terminal diagnoses,

Sweat stung my eyes as I stared downrange at the splintered silhouette target. Another Wednesday evening, another box of 9mm casings littering the concrete, another session where my draw-to-first-shot time stubbornly refused to dip below 1.3 seconds. The range officer's pitying nod as he collected my target felt like sandpaper on raw nerves. That's when my phone buzzed - a notification from Drills that would become my ballistic therapist.

The rancid taste of panic flooded my mouth when that familiar vise clamped around my chest at 2:37 AM. Moonlight sliced through dusty blinds as I fumbled for my inhaler, fingers brushing empty plastic. Every gasp became a whistling betrayal - my lungs staging mutiny while the world slept. That's when the phone's glow felt less like a screen and more like a distress beacon. CLINICS wasn't just an app in that moment; it became my oxygen pipeline to sanity.

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Three AM glare from my phone screen etched shadows on the ceiling as I cataloged bodily betrayals - that knotted stomach after dinner, the dry mouth despite gallons of water, the cruel alertness when the world slept. Synthetic sleeping pills left me groggy yet wired, like chewing aluminum foil while submerged in syrup. My gut had become a warzone where probiotics and prescription meds staged futile battles, leaving scorched earth behind. That particular midnight, desperation tasted like battery

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Rain lashed against my apartment windows as I stared at the hospital bill glowing on my laptop screen. That $3,000 unexpected charge wasn't catastrophic, but it exposed the flimsiness of my financial safety net. For years I'd treated savings like a guilty secret - random deposits into accounts with names like "Emergency??" and "Trip Maybe." My investment attempts always died at the brokerage gatekeeping: minimum balances I couldn't reach, jargon-filled forms that made my eyes glaze over, fee str