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That Tuesday started with my tongue clinging to the roof of my mouth like sandpaper - another dehydration headache pulsing behind my eyes as I squinted at my reflection. Three years of failed water-tracking apps littered my phone's graveyard folder, each abandoned when their clinical notifications blurred into background noise. What finally broke the cycle wasn't discipline, but guilt tripping from a goddamn cartoon cactus.

Rain lashed against the pub window as I nursed my third pint, stranded miles from the Oval during that decisive fifth test. The ancient television above the bar stubbornly showed horse racing while Jimmy Anderson stood at the crease - England needing 15 runs with one wicket left. My knuckles whitened around the phone when Cricket LineX's predictive dismissal algorithm flashed a brutal 87% chance of LBW before the bowler even began his run-up. That split-second prophecy of doom made me taste copp

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