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Rain lashed against the bus window as we careened down a serpentine road in the Dinaric Alps, each turn revealing mist-shrouded peaks that felt more like a silent taunt than a welcome. I'd fled Split after butchering a coffee order so badly the barista handed me a Coke instead—his pitying shrug carving a hole in my chest. My phrasebook lay drowned in backpack sludge, its waterlogged pages symbolizing everything wrong with my Croatian "adventure": flimsy tools for a language that demanded muscle.

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Rain lashed against the minivan windows as my nine-year-old's wails reached DEFCON levels. "But I NEED the deluxe slime kit NOW!" she shrieked, fists pounding the leather seat. In the rearview mirror, I saw the crumpled $20 bill - her month's allowance - already vaporized into arcade tokens and gummy worms. My knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. How do you explain opportunity cost to someone who thinks "budget" is a type of shower curtain? That soggy Tuesday marked our financial rock bottom

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