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My thumb trembled against the cracked phone screen as another predawn panic attack seized me. Outside the hospital window, sirens wailed a discordant symphony to my third consecutive sleepless night. Bone-deep exhaustion had become my default state since the diagnosis, each sunrise bringing fresh terror disguised as daylight. That's when I accidentally swiped left on some productivity nonsense and discovered it - Charles Spurgeon's 19th-century wisdom waiting patiently in the digital shadows.

The blue glow of my phone screen cut through the darkness like a lighthouse beam, illuminating dust particles dancing in the air. 3:47 AM. That familiar clawing sensation started behind my ribcage - not pain, but the electric buzz of thoughts colliding like bumper cars. My therapist called it "cognitive static." I called it another sleepless hell. Fingers trembling, I scrolled past meditation apps with their judgmental lotus icons until I found it: that peculiar geometric icon promising order am

The flickering neon sign outside the Istanbul safehouse window cast jagged shadows as I wiped sweat from my forehead - not from the Mediterranean heat, but from the encrypted burner phone vibrating in my palm. Three weeks earlier, my encrypted chat history with "Source Gamma" had surfaced in a government press conference. That night, I burned my notebooks in a Belgrade bathtub while police sirens echoed through the streets. Now hunched over a sticky keyboard in this crumbling apartment, MilChat'

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